Saturday, June 30, 2007

Home and Away

I'm finally back in the states, and have been for about a week now.

Naturally I came home with a sinus infection and nasty cold, probably caused by the freezing cold New Zealand weather and the stress of coming home. This past week has gone by way too quickly. I was looking forward to relaxing and spending time catching up with friends and with Jon. Instead, I ended up spending way too much time wedding planning with my mother, that and sleeping. Obviously I needed the rest since I was sick, but I just saw the week slipping away and now it's Saturday and I'm leaving again for another week. I should be loading the car right about now, but I'm not even packed. The thought of putting my life in a suitcase again, even if it's only for a week, makes me want to cry. I'm not ready to travel again, I just want to be comfortable and home and with my family.

This week has been draining. Jon has been here and it's been a struggle learning how to allow him into my life again. I got so used to being completely independent. I'm not used to being hugged and cuddled and it's weird having that again so suddenly. I'm starting to get comfortable again, but I guess I was expecting my Australia barrier to be more emotional than physical, and it was in fact the opposite.

So today I'm heading to my cabin in Central Oregon, and then over to Black Butte tomorrow. I'll be there until Friday, then Jon and I will head back to the Portland area for a wedding. I'm really looking forward to vacation, although I'm a little stressed. It's really hard to let people cook for me, especially after all the issues I had with my host mom and food in Australia. I also don't know several of the couples who will be there, and as it turns out, I can be pretty shy when first meeting people. I would love to just stay home and rest, but I need a vacation as well. I love Black Butte so much and it will be wonderful just to enjoy nature and peace and quite for a week. I'm a little bummed that they don't allow fireworks though :(

Well, off to try and pack.

-Kristin

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Lasts

Today was a day of lasts...
The last time I rode the bus. The last time I went to Pancakes. The last time I saw the Opera House and the Harbor Bridge. The last time I got coffee at my favorite stand. The last time I went to Market City. The last time I saw Newtown. The last time I went out with Gail and Tinga. And the saddest part, it was the last night Sarah and I walked to Burwood and back. I'm going to miss her.

And now is the last time I will be sitting at this table... in this living room... at this apartment... it is my last night in Sydney and I'm heartbroken to be saying goodbye to all the things I have begun to love so dearly.

In less than 12 hours I will be leaving this city. Perhaps forever. It's so bittersweet.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

How Have I Grown?

As part of our Australian Studies Program, I am required to write an 18-page critical reflection paper on what I've learned since I've been here. The paper is broken down in to two page sections, each in regards to a different unit we studied (ie - foreign policy, government and politics, hospitality, etc.). I've already started thinking about this paper, wondering what it is that I've learned, and I guess I wanted to write my own mini-reflection here to perhaps inspire my paper, as well as give myself the chance to really process how I've changed.

When I came to Australia, I expected to grow a lot closer to God.
I though I would be lonely, depressed to be away from friends and loved ones, and I'd end up spending a lot of time in the word and pursuing my relationship with God on perhaps a deeper level than I had been before this trip. My first couple weeks here, I did. I spent a lot of time reading my bible, in prayer, and just reflecting on my life and relationship with God. Then I made friends, and that faded into the background, perhaps more than it should have.
...Yet, I am leaving this place changed. Perhaps not externally, minus the few extra pounds I've packed on, but internally. The classes I've taken here have taught me more about God than I've learned in a lifetime of church. Perhaps I should have realized this earlier in my life, but the pursuance of knowledge is invaluable. To understand God in a historical, academic context lays the foundation for a stronger relationship with Him. This semester I did not grow close to God in the way I expected, but I learned an incredible amount about Him, knowledge that I will carry with me for a lifetime, and it will help me to understand the God I already love.

Anyway, that's my little blurb for the day.
Only 19 days until I'm home.

I can't believe this is almost over.

-Kristin